Homesickness

20 Oct

Living in a new place, you expect an element of homesickness. I have found that the things that I might expect make me homesick don’t, but strange things have given me that feeling. 2 things in particular make me homesick today.

1. I miss my sister’s hugs. My sister gives really big, tight hugs and looking at this picture makes me miss her hugs. Alot.

2. Chiropractic. The above mentioned sister got me into chiropractic and I absolutely loved it. It made me feel better, helped with pain, it was wonderful. So as soon as I could when I got here, I found a new chiropractor This one is good, he really is. He makes my shoulders feel much better, but at the same time, it made me miss Dr LaLonde, his table, his conversation, the whole atmosphere of the office.

I know as I go along, this will get better. I know I will make and build relationships and friendships and memories here in NY. I also know it takes me time to do all this. And at the same time, building new stuff will remind me of the old. It is nice to know that I can remember and love the old, but I must also embrace the new, otherwise I will be left with just the old and nothing else. And I want the new to be as wonderful as the old was. But it will be wonderful in a very different way, which means I will never replace, only add to.

Happily Ever After

15 Oct

This greeted me when I got on FB this evening:

My wonderful husband and I were married just shy of a month ago and getting to see this picture today just made my whole day that much more wonderful.

Ender’s Game: Film and Book Comparison

21 Jun

Ender’s Game. The exploration of the ‘game’ of war as played by incredibly smart and talented children. Yes, children.

My father and roommate were both interested in this film when we heard it was coming out. My father really enjoyed the books as a young man (and still does to this day) and my roommate was excited about it. I had never read the books, never even heard or really considered Orson Scott Card’s works in any shape. But I do love a good sci-fi story and I love stories that have real heart to them. And I have a passion for film adaptations of books.

So my first step was to read the book. Let me just say, Orson Scott Card is an incredible writer. All at the same time, he had me loving and hating Ender, disgusted and thrilled at the games, intrigued and frustrated by the politics. This book is so complex and yet at the same time, it is so simple. And now, after watching the movie, I feel it caught that simple idea.

Now I literally went from book to movie. I finished the book during a break at work in the morning, and came home and watched the movie in the afternoon. So pardon me, because both are kinda fresh in my mind, but yet neither strikes me as being better or being terribly different. There are differences. Please note that spoilers will follow to fully illustrate my points.

The first major difference is Ender’s age. In the book, Ender goes from a 6 yr old boy to a 10 yr old defeater of the buggers (term the book used). In the movie, it seems that Ender is set up from day 1 as a boy of about 12, I would guess. He’s not as young as in the books, which actually has several film related practical reasons. 1. You only have to cast one person in the role of Ender if you make him almost into puberty. 2. It makes more sense to condense down the timespan. For the film, I think the age of Ender worked, especially since everyone else was also around his age. But that is a big change, so change 1.

Next is the time span. The events of the story spread across 4 years in the book. In the movie, I kinda got the impression that only about 1 year tops passed. I could be wrong, seeing as they did skip past most of the dull, tedious stuff in the school and such in the film. But that was my impression. On one hand, this is a big deal. One doesn’t get the full feel for Ender and his friends or get to see all different kinds of relationships that they built in the book. However, it does keep this from being a six film series (not that they shouldn’t consider one day making a mini series or tv show from this). And it keeps things moving in a way that doesn’t leave us totally hating Ender before the end. I’m not saying that you can’t have a good film and hate the lead, but it usually doesn’t work that way. And for this film, the filmmakers needed you to fully emphasize with Ender when the screen came up at the end and he realizes that he has fully wiped out the Formics and has been fighting a real war with these games. And realizes how much he has been lied too. So I think for the film, it worked.

Also, we don’t get any of the political stuff played out by Valentine and Peter on earth while Ender is training in space. Which would make a whole film on it’s own (that is why this would make an amazing mini series), yet would 1, take away from Ender’s story and 2, make the film REALLY long. I am sorry we missed out on the political stuff, but for the story the filmmakers chose to tell in the movie, it would not have quite fit in like they needed it to.

But what I found most interesting is that in both the film and the movie, the idea that there is this boy who is being turned into this amazing weapon and losing his own humanity. He always fights to win. Yet in the fight to win, he starts to lose himself. Who he is, the control he has over his own choices and life. That concept, expressed differently in both mediums, is still there and is what gives the power and intrigue to Ender’s Game and can help to explain why it has lasted as long as it has.

 

Overall, I would give Ender’s Game the book a rating of 8 stars. And the movie, I would give a rating of 7 stars.

Everything Wrong with the Hobbit

18 May

So when the first Hobbit film came out, I had decided for financial reasons, I was not interested in watching it. This really rubbed some people the wrong way. I now can say two things: 1 – I kinda want to see the Unexpected Journey and 2 – The Desolation of Smaug seems to be quite summed up in 14 mins.

How to do I know this? These two amazing videos

I must say the first one does look tolerable. The second one, though, makes me wonder what Tolkien did wrong that Jackson had to add so much to the films. What is so wrong with the second third of Tolkien’s Hobbit book that they had to do THAT much with it. Yes, I’ve only seen a quick 14 min run down of the film, but you know what, I think I kinda got the gist and feel no need to watch the whole thing. PROBLEM! I’m sorry, but if a stupid youtube video can give the whole feel of a film in 14 mins, the film is WAY too long.

P.S. I do not agree with everything these guys say, I just found the videos amusing. And yes, I may look into watching the first Hobbit film. Much more inclined to see it now.

BIG News and Change

23 Nov

Since May, when I last posted, some pretty big things have happened. I moved out on my own, kinda in prep for when I married, went up to spend a WHOLE week with my boyfriend in New York (his home) and when I got there, he had a surprise for me.

A ring! Yep, Edwin asked me (Tabitha) to marry him and I said yes! So excited for this big change in my life.

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Edwin has some pretty major health issues that I have known about from the start, so we will live in New York where he is established in the medical community. Perhaps one day we will move, but that is for the future. So at this time I am preparing to move to New York state next fall.

And we are also in the beginning stages of planning a wedding :). And I am going to be making not only my wedding gown, but also I will be helping my mother make the bridesmaides gowns, so there will be more sewing progress posts coming.

The Sunflower

15 May

Imagine a beautiful yellow Sunflower. It’s tall and strong, with lovely petals and full leaves. It stands in a garden, among other beautiful flowers. The other flowers are different, roses, daisy’s, geraniums. All the flowers are beautiful and all together they make a beautiful picture.

 

One day people come into the garden. They admire the flowers, including the Sunflower. But as time goes by, it seems to the Sunflower that the other flowers are more admired then she is. The rose is nurtured, while she needs very little obvious attention. The daisy’s are picked and played with, while the Sunflower is too big for braiding into chains.

 

Slowly the flowers begin to be picked. Off go the roses, dance away the daisy’s, parade away the geraniums. All, but the Sunflower. She is still admired, but now only from afar. She seems to need nothing, so she is left alone.

 

Sunflower begins to draw away. The sun seems to be the only one who as any interest in her, showering her with warmth. She reaches up to the sun, striving only to please it. She still puts out a good show, petals of yellow and full leaves, but there is more of an imperial air about her. She is only admired from a distance. Yet the Sunflower longs to be picked and chosen, to know that she is just as wanted as the rose or daisy.

 

One day a Shepard enters the garden. He admires and touches all the flowers in the garden. Sunflower resents this and draws her self up as high as she can. Gently, the Shepard approaches the Sunflower. The Shepard is very handsome and seems so kind that the Sunflower longs to relax and let him touch her. But at the same time she afraid to be rejected by him, so she keeps herself tall and aloof.

 

The Shepard is not deterred. With soft hands, the Shepard starts to smooth out the stiff leaves of Sunflower. The fact that she resists him doesn’t stop him. He keeps his attentions on her, moving down her stem to the ground around her roots. Gently he begins to loosen the dirt and prepares to move her into a large pot. This frightens the Sunflower. Where is this Shepard taking her? What horrors does he have in store for her?

 

It is strange to her, but the Shepard does have a plan. He takes the pot with Sunflower in it to another garden. HIS garden. There all the flowers reach for the sun and strive to be as beautiful as they can to gain the Shepard’s attention first. He plants the Sunflower in this garden.

 

Everyday the Shepard comes out and dotes on the Sunflower. All the attention she has needed and desired is now hers. Soft hands to warm her and gentle waters to revive her. Food she has never tried and love that she has never known is hers now.

 

 

 

 

Looking at who?

11 Oct

Recently something big happened for me and it showed me some scary things about me, the biggest thing being what I focus on.  I’ve always given the impression of a good christian girl. And I know it. I have groomed that image since I was about 14 and realized I had such an image. However, even good girls have their issues. However, if we are portraying an image and something happens in our lives that would break that image, at least in our minds, then we try our dang hardest to not show it. Period. Problems are hidden, not dealt with. But that doesn’t mean the problems go away. It just means they lay dormant, waiting for the moment to strike and ruin your life.

My biggest problem is fear. I am a girl who is terrified of things. I worry, I stress about every significant and insignificant thing that comes my way (it drives my boyfriend nuts ;) ). Actually, I think I do it more over insignificant things then significant ones. But the fear of failing, of making the wrong choice, of messing up, of dropping my image in people’s eyes, that drives me many times. Usually it drives me to not speak to someone when I should, or not to do something God is telling me to do. Or just hid in my room when I should be out doing things, not only for God, but with people. And that fear almost kept me from doing something that I hope will turn out amazing.

You might not know this, but my boyfriend and I live in completely different states. Actually, we are not only in different states, but in different time zones, with like 3 hours difference. It stinks. And it also makes it really hard to meet. As of this writing, we have not had a in person meeting yet. However, that is going to change soon. My father and I have made plans to go meet him. Yet this almost didn’t happen for one reason. I was afraid.

My good father sat me down and was honest with me, saying that this is a big expense blah blah, this might not move things forward, we are just going to scope things out etc. All this I know.

(Okay, I feel like I need some background here. There are good reasons why my guy and I shouldn’t work out. The distance is one. He has major medical issues and is currently not working (though he hates not working). I’m 10 years younger then him. etc)

So I know that things might and probably won’t end up like in the romance movies (those things are such dreams, no?). That is something I thought I had dealt with. But when it came to spending a huge amount of money and energy on this and getting told rather depressing things, all the fears I thought I had dealt with months ago resurfaced. All the fears about being alone again and wasting people’s time and effort rose to the top and filled my view port on life. Suddenly life went from looking hopeful and good to looking very dark and very wrong and I felt like I had royally messed up. I mean, honestly, why didn’t I just do it like other people who find a guy who has a job or lives within a reasonable driving range? Why did I find one who is on the other side of the country and has no job or current prospects?

See, the problem is that all my concerns and such are valid (except maybe for that last question). They are good reasons to look closely at this relationship and make sure it’s going the right way. But things start going wrong when I look at the problems and go “There is nothing I can do to solve these HUGE problems. I might as well give up, since the problem is bigger then me.” That is not the answer. The answer to any problem is the same answer Daniel found when he was in the lion’s den. Look at GOD! Don’t look at the problems, look at the one who is bigger then ANY problem in the world. Sure, I don’t understand how God will get us through these problems. But I have to have faith that God will make a way through the problems (since He doesn’t usually take us around them, but through them so we come out stronger and more trusting) or He will provide the strength to step away and pick up the pieces and start over.

The Lord Jehovah is an amazing God. Lord of the Universe, Almighty One, Prince Of Peace, Lord of Hosts, Majesty. There is nothing that can compare with Him. Not even 2000 miles distance. Not even a major health problem. Nothing. And He is so big, He will always be there to hold me and guide me and strengthen me and you.

So who are you looking at? Are you looking at the problems that look so big? Or are you looking at the God who is so big, He holds the world in his palm? What is there to worry about?

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